I would lose it without my bedtime routine
Hi! Welcome to Rat Day Afternoon, a weekly dispatch covering anything and everything knocking around my little brain that hits your inbox Sunday. The newsletter consists of The Main Event, a longer form “essay” about something I am currently fixating on, and Some Other Stuff, which features bite-sized topics and will probably change each week, or Ask Skipperdee, an advice column. I actively welcome and encourage comments, don’t be scared! I’ll only get mad if you talk shit about my family and/or Ruby.
The Main Event
I am obsessed with my bedtime routine: it keeps me moored to a semblance of normality even when everything else in my life feels a bit off. Some days, usually those that are harder than usual, I even find myself looking forward to nighttime, when I can get as cozy and bundled as I want. It’s a bit dramatic because I would even go so far as to say that I am only fully “myself” or completely at peace when I’m carrying out my nightly regimen. Yes, it brings me that much comfort!
Although the details often change, the main outline of my bedtime routine stays pretty much the same every night:
I’m probably already in my pyjamas (lockdown!), so the first thing that I technically do to wind down for the night is my skincare routine. After brushing my teeth, I wash my face, and apply whatever creams or oils I’m using at the moment (though always in a specific order: creams first, then oils, then eye cream and maybe something astringent on my forehead).
After this, I move onto the intense reading section of my routine. I’m usually juggling a few different reading materials, so I start with a magazine, move to a non-fiction (physical) book, then finally read whatever ebook(s) I currently have on the go. Before finally snuggling down for the night I put my earplugs in and slather on some lip balm and hand cream (in that order).
Although some people thrive in chaos, I am a strict creature of habit. I have written about the comfort I find in routines before, but my bedtime routine is the most enduring, necessary routine in my entire life. A while ago, one of my friends told me that one of her most frequent nightmares involves her panicking when she realizes she’s skipped part of her nighttime routine. This is generally how I feel about my routine, too: without it, I feel unnervingly incomplete.
Despite this, I sometimes get a bit cocky, and skip part or all of my routine. After a few nights like this I find myself coming a bit unmoored, and generally feeling scattered and uncentered in my life. Sometimes the abandonment of my bedtime routine is the first sign that my mood is shifting in some way, or is headed for an unfortunate downward turn. Coming back to the routine has saved me from sliding further into general malaise many times during my adult life, and I’m seriously grateful for it.
I love talking to other people about whether they have bedtime routines or not. Since I’m a night owl, it’s no surprise that I truly cherish my cozy time in the evening, however I know many morning people who find similar comfort in their morning routines, and I relate to them. I love sleeping in and being cocooned in my bed as late in the day as possible, so I think it unlikely that I’ll ever develop a highly productive morning regimen to match my evening one.
I’m intrigued by those who have neither morning nor nighttime routines: do they have other routines during the day, or are they people who generally eschew routines? If so, what keeps them tied to reality/sanity? As my life inevitably shifts, will I one day become like them and shift my rigid routine? It’s hard to say, but I won’t lie that I’m hoping my routine actually moves the opposite direction, and becomes even more intricate. Watch this space!
Some Other Stuff
Some Things That Are Currently Part of My Bedtime Routine:
Books: My current ebooks are Fake Accounts by Lauren Oyler, and Homeland by Fernando Aramburu. I got both of these books from the library, and I use the Libby app to get all my loaned ebooks. These two are quite different from each other, but I am enjoying both!
Beauty Products: Right now I am using this LANEIGE Lip Sleeping Mask because it smells like candy, and this hand cream from The Body Shop (I think I got it as a free gift at some point?).
Other Stuff: Sometimes I listen to ASMR if I’m really having trouble sleeping. My favourite ASMRtists (lol) at the moment are ediyasmr, itsblitzzz, Reiki Healing Hope, and SophieMichelleASMR.
That’s all I have for you this week! Please, tell me about your bedtime routine. Has it changed during lockdown? Are you someone without a routine who is trying to create one? Let me know, I’d love to help! Also, if you’re my friend Colin, please know that I WILL BE WRITING ABOUT “IN AND OF ITSELF” SOON, I just haven’t watched it yet ;)
To be cute or not to be cute, that is the question…
Diana
As the freak who experiences bedtime routine nightmares, I clearly have a strong attachment and need for my nightly rituals. I also have a slew of “sleep associations” (things that I need in order to fall asleep), the most concerning of which involve wrapping the top sheet tightly around my neck to feel cocooned 😎
Being retired AND in lockdown allows me a new leisurely morning routine: I read a new poem every morning before I get up. Having made my way through the anthology The Best of The Best Canadian Poetry, I have found some poets I enjoy and now read from their collections. Favourites so far are Leslie Greentree, Maureen Hynes and Priscilla Uppal.